corner blinded

As I mentioned at the last posting, we were some "trials." Just to be clear, I know people have real problems- not enough food or clean water, live on life support, or with a major illness. Goodness, just this week at a very wonderful church we visited, someone shared testimony of how God had gotten her through the shooting death of her 18 year old son. Like I said, real problems!
Normally we're not very self- absorbed. Can I say that and not sound self-absorbed?
Recently, we've been "corner blind", blinded by our problems, not able to see outside of what we perceive as difficult times. This past week we essentially severed a professional relationship. This was not easy, not fun, nor without lost sleep. It's a difficult thing to do to sever a relationship. We felt odd and uneasy for several weeks but we are now able to sleep. And thank God that God's given guidance in how to deal with our problems. We continue to hold those folks in prayer for all the work they do.
And hopefully, we can continue to receive guidance about how we live our lives to be a blessing to others, not getting stuck on our corner of the world.

planes that never get off the ground

Thanks to Allison Krauss for the title of today's post. Yes, it seems this week we've had some planes and plans that just don't get off the ground. Adoption continues to be painstakingly slow. Confusing and difficult. But today I'm at the computer because Hubby is not working from home today and trying to get some plans together for a trip to Denver- some work, some fun, some family, some free house remodeling. Ah, but it's been a journey trying to get many schedules to coordinate at just. the. right. time. Very tricky when dealing with transportation and soccer games. I just hope that our plane does get off the ground. Looking forward to some sunshine. And to see some faces that brighten my spirit.

windy, no sun

Yes, it is incredibly windy today. and just last week the sun shone for about 5 minutes, after at least a week of no sun. at. all. Our lives have been windy too. Lots of change. Adoption things click along, some progress. Not much but we'll take it.

Last week's shootings at Northern Illinois hit closer to home. A windy moment for many- feeling untethered, at loose ends. I say it hits close to home because I know one of the campus pastors and several students at NIU. Also, it reminds me of Columbine when I was living just down the road from the high school then. Please what's with the guns? And the terror it strikes into those close and those far away. I pray these shootings would stop. Then, I pray we'll never get so overexposed tothese tragedies that we become permanently numb to people's pain.

It is windy today. Wind always changes things though. My hope and prayer is that wind blows through the NIU campus, and the Wind blows in the hearts and minds of all those this has touched. I'm reminded of the Lutheran bishop's (Gary Wollersheim) remark on that cold windy night they gathered for the first memorial. "We kept relighting each other's candles as we sang Amazing Grace. That's what we're supposed to do for each other, help light each other's candles again when they can't."
Windy today.

primary eve

The phone continues to ring off the hook, I'm trying to start dinner. Just got a mini-sermon message as the recorded greeting asked us to vote for Obama. The calls just keep coming! What must it have been like in Iowa in January.
Another (un)related story. We tried a new church yeseterday and we're pleased to find a slightly integrated congregation small, but teeming young kids. Well, we looked at each other, did we find something interesting? Then the lady began to speak, later to preach. Okay, I get to say something here since I am a lady preacher. She. was. bad. Bad. slow, no passion, but political. Started out about transfiguration but I got lost in all the mish-mash. Be clear, lady! Say something you believe in! Seems like I got a better, more impassioned, more focused sermon on my answering machine tonight. I thought the preachers weren't supposed to be political but they sometimes do a good job of dancing the line. I th0ught politicians weren't preachers but, hmm, maybe some are!

sad tacos

So I'm usually not this deep and lately, not this observant. But my taco trip the other day really surprised me. Now, with full disclosure, I'll admit I'm a Chipotle junky and have been since I visited their first store years ago in Denver. When they first opened in our neighborhood a few years ago, I was 3rd in line! So I walk in yesterday for chicken tacos and see almost all Latino folks working on the line and in the kitchen and an African American manager. The last time I was in several months ago, almost all employees were African American. Our neighborhood is decently integrated and the folks who frequent the restaurant tend to be more African American than not. So I'm curious about the change in employees. And a little sad because it seems to me that the racial inequity goes on. So I took my tacos and went home, a little less hungry.

getting by

The third call from the adoption social worker was this morning. Could we push back the appointment one more time? Yes, of course, no problem. But I really wanted to say, yes, it is a problem. Sometimes I want to say that to the world, when things seem a little off center, which they do a lot lately. "Hey, rearrange your scheduled to mine!"but until then we'll be getting by.

"If you don't know what to write, write that"

So about a million post possibilities went through my head today as I was out and about running errands. We got our immigration fingerprints done today- one step closer to adoption heaven and actual Kiddo living with us. We've been cleaning for a week waiting for the adoption lady (as we lovingly call her) to come wrap things up and do a home inspection. I think we're okay, not too nervous but we'll see what tomorrow brings! so, here's my line of questionsing as I'm driving around: Why do government buildings never seem to open early (lik 7:58am instead of 8am) but most private companies do? How in the world will I get enough arm strength to carry around a toddler- do I have to start carrying around pounds of split peas? why are there so many people at the grocery store after New Year's if everyone is trying to lose weight? How long will one be sloth-like if one (meaning me) has recently become unemployed? and how did I manage to get such great teachers- like Mrs Harrington in 3rd grade who I liked because she smelled nice and looked tall because she always wore high heels? It was Mrs Harrington who taught us to journal frequently- what a great idea to get kids to be quiet- note to self. When my friend Dominick complained he couldn't think of what to write, she'd say "If you don't know what to write, write 'I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write' over and over." She was right- shortly, you think of something to write, just like I did, just now.